Urban Muslimahs

“Marry women of your choice, two, or three, or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one.” Al-Qu’ran (4:3)

Assalamu Alaikum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa Barakatuh to all

Today’s entry will be about….. *Drumroll plz*… POLYGYNY(not to be/get confused with Polygamy).

” Dictionary: po·lyg·y·ny

n.

1. The condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time.”

I have always had a very open-minded view on the subject, not only was I raised seeing Polygyny via my Grandfather and his Wives(of which were all equally and lovingly called my Grandmothers), there was no displays of confused children, families being ripped apart and yes, one could say that it was from another generation of  “muslim folk” but I greatly stand to differ. Family and the definition of such wasn’t taught to us as the connecting DNA-string but rather via creation, adaptation and attraction to those who were able to care for you in a host of ways, of such most importantly to be able to love and nurture, that being said there was little to no tolerance for conveniently throwing around terms such as “You aren’t my Mother/Father/*insert role here*”; which happens to be heavily used in the western civilization that we live in. As children and grandchildren via polygyny, we were taught to respect all Adults within the home and family period, it wasn’t our place to question nor did we feel the need because as we got older, we were privy to age appropriate information which helped to shed light on the subject on many levels/aspects not to mention that we saw other examples via family friends with Brothers and their Wives, mind you not all of them were singing in unison to the tune of  “lollipops & gumdrops”, but they all had in common the ability to MAINTAIN and RESPECT their marriages for the love and sake of Allah(swt).

Upon speaking with numerous Sisters in Islam about having a co-wife and all that being in a marriage based off of Islam first and then polygyny second; the most common tone which is brought up lots is that of the 3 r’s=   “resentment”, “rejection” and mostly “replacement”.

For this I do somewhat blame not only the Men, but also the families that most of us were raised in, unfortunately Polygyny wasn’t always introduced in a respectful manner and was taken as being a insult or hurtful action/suggestion, knowing that we are “only human” we aren’t always able to distinguish between what is fair and what is written in the Holy Qu’ran and outlined.

*I could always go on and on, and if you know me personally you know it’s so true…but instead opening up for discussion..feel free to input yours*

Another good entry to add to your blogroll would be this one:

http://polygynousblessings.blogspot.com